new blog

no longer my blog home.
my new one: http://missvictoriapolston.wordpress.com/

write,
victoria

nameless blog post

I should name this blog: I don't know what to name this blog.

I envy those who find it in themselves to override their own insecurities and make their lives huge.
I am wondering if they have less fear than most?
Do they just ignore it?
Are they equipped with some jet-pack of ambition?

I desire that. Maybe I have one on my back already.
Perhaps my feet are already off the ground and I just need to open my eyes...

with the goal to end needless fears,
Victoria

quality of life

decisions decisions decisions. 

floating around in my hand. 

where they will land...

only the future knows.

(and maybe me at this point)

in hopes that all good people succeed, 

victoria

27

Today is my birthday and I do feel older. 

Sometimes I feel like my life experiences equal to that of a 40 year old woman. 

I hope that I can walk into the next season of my life with more wisdom and a grateful heart. 

Crossing my fingers for many more years,

Victoria

Word

(picture of my nephew and I taken a few years ago)

I wonder if moms & dads realize how lucky they are even with their sleepless nights 

and busy calendars. 

The opportunity to raise a person, there is nothing greater. 

a kind brain

This afternoon, I'm thinking a little more about this reminder on my fridge. 

I don't want to waste my years on earth.

Oh to live a life of intention. 

To live every minute with my brain alive and to overflow kindness and tactfulness.

black & white

My favorite color is grey.
The neutrality of it calms me. If something is black or white, it usually turns me off.

I am not a fan of extremes.politics, religion, weather, opinions.

This morning I was faced with an issue that was clearly black or white.

I prepared myself mentally. I spoke out.
I still spoke with a grey tone. Perfect. and I survived.

5:27 trash snow

I've been waking up earlier this week. It's not intentional, but I'm not complaining.
I love the snow before my drive into work.
I love having enough time to buy my coworkers donuts. Myself coffee.
I love love. And I want it.
Oh and it's trash day. That means it's almost Friday.
-Victoria

lucid dreaming

I was talking to someone recently about the idea of lucid dreaming.

While dreaming, you recognize you are in a dream, then control the dream.

tip: think about what you want to dream about. If you are easily influenced by anything you watch or think about before bedtime, this is not a hard one. 

Before I fell asleep last night, I thought of a person I wanted to show up in my dream. No reason behind who I chose, just picked someone I don't think about often.

It worked. I totally had a dream about this kind soul being mean. That was not part of the plan. Maybe I should throw in a couple things about them being polite. 

another tip: do reality checks in real life so you may do them in your dream out of habit. If you are dreaming, things should be a little different. 

Lucid dreaming is fascinating to me. I think it is because I love psychology. I love dreams. I love control. Most importantly: I really want to fly. If you say you don't, you are lying or already Superman. In which case, I am jealous. Please take me out of these isolated cornfields for a ride. 

How much more awesome is it that we have the ability to somewhat control reality itself? We can do reality checks through out the day: am I living? Am I on autopilot or am I being fully me? If you don't like something, change it.We only live one time. One time! It can be taken away at any moment. Then what? That was our only shot at living life and making choices. 

Live today beautifully you. Take your fears head on or outsource the job. Just destroy them. 

Call on all your own superpowers. Radiate truth and peace.

Be the love you wish to see. 

Make Adventures,

Victoria

Dark Horse

I heard the song "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry today.
Almost 28 repeats later, it is still playing on my speakers.
Didn't know I liked miss Perry's music.

A lady girl

Overcoming daily emotions of the over emotional
Being a girl. A lady. A woman. The emotional one.
Cheers to tomorrow and a better day.  (:

as every color illuminates

The point of no return. Everyone tells you: Let go.

       feel heavy from dragging it around. Let it go and grab it back again.  re-position it's weight and decide to hold it like a baby near your chest. Caress the limp body and kiss the cold cheek. Cradling dead memories is your new hobby. Despite any well intended advice, they would never understand. They know from experience? They aren't in your experience. And that it is a teacher. I have heard. Experience that is. Is something that takes time. Time never is on your side. It will come down to one thing for everyone. Depending on who you are. Only for some. Only for me. Maybe for you. Breathe. Don't try to make since o my words just your own. world.inside you.

Pretend. 

Pretend to feel happy. Pretend to feel beautiful. Pretend to love. Pretend to come alive. Then the item, the idea, the mirage of what once was has vanished, and you become that which you are "pretending". In that moment, you are. You are light. Lite. Live. Limber. The one not broken. The pretending hero who now rescues. The brave one. I am she. You are he. 

let go, dear one. 

victoria

status update

I deactivated my facebook today. I am not sure for how long. Maybe 18 hours, maybe a week, maybe a lifetime, or until the new social media site sucks me in. I have no idea...all I know is I am kind of liking it.
I enjoy facebook and getting the updates about others lives while trying to think of how to cleverly word what is happening in my own. But for a few different reasons, I said the farewell this morning.

My status: I am happy. I feel more settled than in a long time. Sometimes if I don't know how to act, I just pretend that I am on a stage acting. After all--the great show of life is viewed by someone bigger than us, why not put on a good show?

Cheers to a great new year and in hopes of living fully alive. : )